An Open Letter To My Body-I Am Sorry
Usually, you would have seen my posts on health and fitness, food and other lifestyle talks on IWB. But today, I have a letter written – a letter which my darlingest soul sister from Czech Republic – Simona Kalikova, who was in Bangalore for 3 months and then spent the whole of Durga Puja in Kolkata with me, and now is in Rajasthan continuing her research and studies.
While I was talking to her about my writings and how penning down words has been therapy and now my occupation; she happened to tell me about the workshops she attended whilst her stay in the Silicon Valley of India – Bangalore.
I didn’t quite get the gist in the beginning, but after I read this letter – a letter of confession by Simona to Simona (her body) – I was left speechless.
In a bid to look good, eat healthy and to ‘fit-in’, we have lost the essence of loving ourselves. There are so many of us who want to look like the men and women in the media, on glossy cover magazines or at the fashion-week rampwalks – ask yourself this one question;
DO YOU LOVE YOURSELF – YOUR BODY, YOUR MIND, YOUR SOUL, YOUR EXISTENCE, YOUR WHOLE BEING ENOUGH?
Without much ado, here I present to you the candid guest letter from Simona to every single reader of IWB. I hope this touches a chord with you all, as it changed my way of thinking too.
Please note: The letter is gender fluid and hence can resonate with anyone who has been through ‘battles of self-esteem’.
My body, my dear body
Before I say anything else, let me please apologize. Apologize for not liking you enough, apologize for criticizing you, for considering you ( and thus myself) not good enough, for letting you down when you needed me the most. Apologize for there have been times when I did not care enough for you, by feeding you junk food, not giving you enough sleep and exercise.
Apologize for artificially sexualizing you by wearing tight, uncomfortable clothes and high heels, for painfully denaturalizing you just to look what is called socially acceptable, for painfully shaping you so that you fulfill artificial and unattainable beauty standards that our society imposed on us. Apologize for not letting you move as freely as you would have wished, by fear of social rejection, for not letting you touch and being touched and embraced by fear of dependency and sexualization. Apologize for being ashamed of you, apologize for apologizing for your so called defaults and weaknesses. Apologize for not appreciating your beauty and your strength.
I sincerely regret that all those years I have been taking you for granted and I have been considering and treating you like an enemy rather than like a friend. But I reassure you, those days are over. It’s never too late for a change. It might take some time before I learn how to listen to your calls and needs, but I promise I will try to be patient with you, with myself. I promise that I will try my best given the circumstances in which I will find myself.
I will try, because you do matter to me. You are the one who allows me to do all the wonderful things I do and to have a beautiful, interesting and fulfilling life. I acknowledge you for this all and i am truly grateful that despite the emotional and physical treatment I gave you, you have always been there for me. I want you to know that from now on I am here for you.
Let this be a beginning of our great, mutually fulfilling relationship. My body, my dear beautiful body, I love you.
From now on always yours
Author Bio: Student by occupation, women right’s activist by vocation and feminist by heart, Simona Kalikova is pursuing a master’s degree in law at Sciences Po in Paris. Currently on her sabbatical year in India, she is researching for her master thesis about legal regulation of sex work in India, working with NGOs helping, dignifying and empowering women, travelling, freelancing and undermining patriarchy.
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