How Facebook Makes You Feel Bad About Yourself?

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How Facebook Makes You Feel Bad About Yourself?

Facebook nowadays is a part and parcel of everyone’s life. It’s a great way to be in touch with friends and family miles apart. It helps you connect with people you parted long back like your childhood friends, classmates, college mates! Such a beautiful platform has now starting making a lot of people feel miserable. There are a lot of studies about this behavior in individuals. Harvard Business Review recently published a study and findings of primary survey conducted on people from all walks of life.

How Facebook Makes You Feel Bad About Yourself

How Facebook Makes You Feel Bad About Yourself?

There are two ways in which Facebook Makes You Feel Bad About Yourself.

facebook frustration

Firstly, it creates an environment of competition for every damn thing on earth. Unknowingly a person starts comparing his/her life and accomplishments with others. Usually people share positive aspect of their lives only. “My new car” or “My new apartment” kind of statuses everyone would have seen. Rarely would you see people sharing negatives like “My beau met with an accident” or “I am bankrupt”.

Its human to envy and be jealous of someone. Usually when your Facebook friend brags a lot about his self declared victories or puts up pictures of vising a new country every now and then, one of the most common reaction is – “Seems he/she has become very rich” . You would not know the struggle of reaching there, in fact you would not want to know! The next reaction is to pretend ignoring his/her updates. You would turn off the notifications but still visit his/her profile everyday. You would ignore the “Like” button totally. “Why should I like, huh ” – is the thought process! Facebook was born to help people increase their social network, to feel connected and loved. But going through successes of people can trigger feelings of being a loser. It can create feelings of jealousy, envy and on an extreme note hatred too.

In another research, German scientists conducted a study on 600 people who logged on Facebook. One out of every three people felt worse after viewing vacation pictures of people. People who surf more on Facebook and post less were even more dissatisfied comparing themselves with others.

Second way in which Facebook Makes You Feel Bad About Yourself is the lack of attention which is quantified by likes and comments. When you upload a new profile picture, how many times you go and check how many likes and comments have you received? Common, we all do that! The heights of desperation(viewed as acceptance) is reached when you wish to surpass the number of likes on your previous profile picture.

Let’s talk about women specifically! Women are more likely to feel stressed or insecure about their appearance. Women unknowingly feel pressurized to post pictures where they look very adorable , beautiful or smoking hot as per their definition of society acceptance. Men on the other hand post more about their accomplishments. They don’t want to miss any opportunity of claiming their candidature for the group –  “successful men”. Less attention on Facebook can inculcate feelings of insecurity and inferiority amongst people.

My last 2 cents – use Facebook to your benefit ! If it gives you more frustration than happiness, you know what to do 🙂

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11 COMMENTS

  1. I seriously want to say so much on this…When I got married I didnt work for few months as i changed city and company and facebook just made things worse for me..i am glad u did this post ..May be i will write more on this comment later.

      • I understand Anamika. Unknowingly we realise world is running so fast and we are stangnant. Vrinda, I have still not activated my personal Facebook profile simply because people tend to ask just ask 2 questions – when are you getting married? Its as if their life depends on me getting married. Second question is Can you get me a job? I dont know how to respond!

  2. I have to agree with you all here…specially Swati…seeing all friends getting perfect jobs or getting married..and here i am stuck with Ph.D and one boyfriend who continuously asking me too get married with him ..like asap…and I am like, NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO…spare me…let me get somewhere in life first.. :/ …arrgghh..Wiseshe is a relief 😀

    • Madhu – Jobs are never perfect. Trust me! I have been working for 7 years now and I can say perfect job does not exist. I took a break for an year for MBA and I can totally understand marriage pressure from bf and everyone else. But hold it tight girl, there is nothing more important that your own happiness. If you are not happy, nothing would work no matter how hard you try

  3. I agree with all of you and also disagree! I used to feel very bad too initially…when I used to see pictures of friends having babies, and posting perfect destination weddings/honeymoon pictures. But then something changed my perspective, a so called friend who posted a destination honeymoon pictures, msgs me on Facebook and tells me how she envies my life, as I go partying/work/no in laws or husband to answer to…yada yada…and how she had to give up her life, she used to model before, and her husband is ok with it, but in laws restrict her…Facebook pics are all fabricated to show off to others that how their lives are perfect, has anyone noticed anyone post how they fought with her boyfriends?Husbands or how their in laws taunt them? I doubt it…so a holler out to all you beautiful ladies on this blog and above and beyond…that we are all doing great and yes…Madhubani WiseShe is awesome!!

    • Deeps – I agree that people dont share negative aspects on Facebook. Life is all about being happy and sharing love, isn’t ? Although not sharing sad things on Facebook is because a person either wants to portray his/her life as perfect or he/she does not want to spill the beans!

  4. Well written post Tarun! Some very good points! Applicable to all of us!! And yes it is human nature to envy :|Social media has to be used in the right manner, it is sad that it is making life miserable for some.

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