“Reborn at Forty Five”
The day we are born, they say that day is the beginning of our end but sometimes some of us dare to defy this fact and decide to get a life back when they are considered to be almost done with life and productivity. I am a proud woman so to say who has earned her life not once but twice… Yes true. Read on.
I was a dead woman with nothing in life to look forward to when while sitting on the patient’s stool I fell down as I was not able to maintain balance of my body as well as mind. The doctor who was a family friend too asked why I was smelling of vanilla and I told him that I just had a freshly baked Vanilla cake. The look on the doctor’s face made me feel ashamed of myself. Yes, ashamed that I had become a sugar addict and was not able to control my cravings. An average Indian woman’s life comes to a standstill as she touches 40 mark and I was no exception. I had lost my identity and was known as “that fat woman with big eyes”. Every three months I went to the doctor and came back with a new pack full of medicines for all above mentioned ailments. The list was endless as was the pain of being obese with 98 kilos on the scale and 5’2” frame. It was not that like other women I never wanted to be slim but wasting time on exercising and dieting were too much to ask for from a creative person who had better things to do like writing, reading, sketching, music, poetry, relishing good food, rather than walking, playing, running and dieting. At the age of 45 and being a mom of two teenagers I thought it was well justified to be fat. For me, my hypothyroidism, emotional stress at home and job everything was responsible for my weight gain but for my own misdeed.Looking back I realize that throughout last 40 years of my life only thing I had to fight was ‘the state of Self-Denial’. I was all the time tricking my mind to believe that though I was obese yet I was healthy and happy. In reality, I was not able to sleep at night because I was scared of my own snoring; I found it difficult to breathe without inhaler, I was exhausted, snappy and vulnerable all the time so was put on antidepressants. That was me till 19th October 2011. But then I had to do something so one morning as I woke up , I decided to take reins of my life back in my hands because I didn’t want to die an unfulfilled, unhappy life. I began my serious exercise and diet regimen in January 2012 and succeeded in losing 30 kilos. It took me almost two years to revert to 67 from 98 kilos. Now that is a different story that I do not want to go under 72 kilos anymore. Below that at a point below 72 I feel weak and ugly old hag.
What This journey Taught MeI learned great lessons for life —
- The key to weight loss is eating mindfully, keeping an eye on what and why should you eat a particular food.
- You cannot lose weight without working out or walking.
- There will be many weight loss stalls which will demotivate you and disturb you but stay calm. Patient pays.
- Treat your weight loss as a rebirth and love yourself for your will to succeed.
Most Amazing Moment
The most amazing moments were two during this weight loss journey of mine…
That surprised look on my doctor’s face when he saw a 66 lbs lighter me. After he recovered from the shock he accepted that he had to take a few moments to recognize me as my face and body had totally changed.
Another one was when I ran Pinkathon and completed three kilometers run. It was for the first time I ran and was so proud of myself.
It is an amazing feeling to be as light as a butterfly and more importantly to be off all medicines. You start enjoying good health and then suddenly life slaps you harder than ever. After running Pinkathon, I became a run addict and started dreaming of running Marathons but as they say addiction of any kind is bad, I realised that my ankle and knee had started giving up after the runs. So the run slowly turned into jog and jog into walks. I had to go to see a doctor who immediately sent me for a bone scan and x-rays. After a long period of hospital visits I was strictly told by the doctors to forget running and jogging. I was put on medication for arthritis. Yes, my joints were creaking and in danger of going worse. Did I have any other option but to follow the advice? Along with the doctor’s advice came a bagful of family advice too….
” See we had told you earlier, not to behave like a teenager.”
“Now dare you run or step out of the house for your running.” I was intimidated by all this and decided to stay back and relax.
A few months of relaxation made me eat all the food back that I had stopped eating. I was depressed, so I was eating ice creams and chocolates. Soon,’once a week’ comfort food became a daily affair. Within six months of that run I had put on eight kilos weight back. The medication I was put on made me sleep a lot as they were sleep inducing ones. I was too sleepy all the time to walk or even go out of the house. Then one day I realised that my life was again going the same downhill where it went a few years ago. I was depressed again because I could not run or jog. I was gloomy because I wasn’t able to control my cravings. That was the time when I started working with IWB Weight Loss program as a Mentor. This program was therapeutic for me. While mentoring and helping out the clients with their cravings and portion control. I realised that when the whole world is looking forward to me for weight loss help, why can’t I do it myself again. Frankly speaking for me losing weight is not a big deal as I am the same person who had lost 30 kilos of weight, I always thought, but this is where I was wrong. Those few kilos are always difficult to lose.
Today I am a happy woman, a lot more patient, relaxed and ready to take life head on, on a daily basis because while mentoring all these wonderful weight loss clients I started losing my weight, such is the power of motivation. My energy level is high as I am again doing a 5-6 mile ‘Walk at Home’ daily, though I am careful this time with the intensity of aerobics. I don’t do high intensity walks. I do weights while walking and feel good about it.
Yes, the medication, I am still on it and will be all through life but I take them in a way that my exercise and workouts are not affected. I have them just before going for my walks or starting Walk At Home so that by the time meds start affecting my alertness I am through with my workouts.
My Untamed Dreams
I still dream of going on long treks in the Himalayas all alone after I complete 50 years in next one year. I wish to motivate women of all ages to reinvent themselves and be as light as possible. Believe me, the extra weight you carry on your body weighs double on your mind. Stay away from that because if you start being comfortable with that weight on you then no one can save you from depression and a whole lot of illnesses.
My weight loss journey has taught me that if I decide to do something, I can do it and do it again and again. Nothing is impossible at any age and life is so beautiful that it is criminal to smother it with high doses of steroids and anti-depressants. My life has taught me to accept bitter realities of life and instead of living in denial, do something to change your conditions. Because you, only you, can change the course of your life.
And yes some of you must be thinking how much I have lost out of those 8 kilos that I had regained… so the answer is half of it is gone and rest will also vanish soon … in a few months… or maybe a year… why!!! because I have a slow metabolism, typical of an almost fifty years old and am menopausal too. Finally, Live Life, Love Life, that is the only way to be. And if you want to lose weight come, join me on IWB Weight Loss Program. Come, let’s do it together.